Struggle

When you're at the lowest point of life. Struggling not to live a better life but only to breathe, to survive. You thought the people closest to you will be there helping you; even if they cannot help you they'd be there to cheer you on. But it's not that case. Instead they are enjoying themselves and you're left alone. 

What happen to "through thick and thin"?

Everyone tells me I should care for my family. First an abusive/violent brother, then a sister who I honestly think she's sick. Not physically sick, sick in the mind, in the way she thinks and how she treats everyone around her according to her mood. Then I got my parents who let that abusive brother get away every single time. I control, I fucking control but I'm losing my mind soon. I swear I can't take all these anymore. But even the person, supposedly the closest to me, tells me I should continue to talk my sister out of her nonsense. I'm not exactly a very positive person, I have quite abit of negative thoughts but now, I feel as though my life is filled with only negativeness and so much hatred. And yet he still wants me to talk to her out of her thinkings. I'm drowning in a sea of negativeness. I can't understand/see what is there in life that I should continue living. I'm so fucking tired. No one understands me, not a single soul. And everyday I put on that mask to show the world how fine I am, when inside, I'm dying, I'm begging for someone to help me out of this life.