Tired of everything. Can't believe that even ovs I can barely enjoy myself now. What is happening to me.. The people around me take me for granted. From nearly 4 years ago till now I still stay up late at night just to talk to you. But you always take it for granted. It becomes a norm. No matter how late it is it doesn't matter. Only when your show/game finish then will you be free to talk. Then will I be able to sleep. I'm so sick of this why the fuck is it always like that. Why the fuck is the fucking game/show so important. The deepest things people hide from us are the things they do/blurt out unknowingly. Just like how my father that I should leave the drink for Nigel instead of taking it. Even when his exams are in a few days time and mine is tmr. Just like how you always make sure that we will be there by this time when we're meeting with your friends but when you're with me, it's flexible timing. Just like how you said we can work on 31 because we will be celebrating tgt only and not with your friends this time round. It isn't the big things that makes me believe/trust the person. It's the littlest things that does the work. And so far you honestly don't deserve all the trust and believe I've given you even though you've failed me so many times. Yes I have a weak heart, I give in to the people I cherish. Even how much they've hurt me I'll still give in to them. But I'm learning to be hard hearted. And I'm starting to be already. I have already started with the bastard who used violence on me. I wonder what's next. And I can't wait to harden my heart and let all those go. Because they're the reason I'm suffering and torturing myself almost everyday. When I let all those go all my burdens will go with them as well. I can't wait, I only hope for the time to come soon.